Okay, let's start this off with something I've been wondering about for a while. Virginity. What's the big deal? In every culture since the begining of forever virginity has had this huge thing. And not usually with boys, but sometimes with them too, it is ALWAYS this huge effing deal with girls!
Is it the idea of purity? Is it that virgins are something that no man has ever had before and therefore they all want? Is it the ignorance, the naivety?
I don't know. It confuses me.
Hopeless Romantics for the second topic.
I'm a self proclaimed hopeless romantic. Note the emphasis on "hopeless." I have this fear that I'll never actually be fully happy in a relationship. I always want more. I always want those gestures you see in movies, where the leading man stops dead in his tracks and stares at our heroine with his mouth slightly open trying to find words for how beautiful she looks. I want the cute little note next to my coffee that says "I love you, have a nice day." I want the look of concern and soft kiss when I look like I'm having a bad day. I want magic. I want cinema. I want something beyond reality. I want what's in my imagination. I want tradition. I want.... I want something that's probably completely unobtainable. That's not saying that I'm not happy with what I have, my God, I am so blessed with having Sam, I am so lucky to have someone who's that sweet and kind and loving and honest and open and funny and smart. And I love him dearly. I just... I feel bad. Because I want more.
Church.
I love church. I love the music, I love my pastor, I love the sermons. I can kinda sleep through the parts that don't involve that, the prayers and bits from the Bible and all that. I can ignore it. I do ignore it. But then the choir processes in from the back of the church with the sweet, sweet sound they bring, the booming baritones, the floating sopranos, the tenners and altos giving the music the meat and the basses flawlessly harmonizing. Oh dear God, I love it. I feel God around me in that moment more than I do almost ever. My whole being is wrapped up in this wonderful noise flying straight to the heavens for all the angels to hear. I love the music.
And my pastor and his sermons are amazing. Today was about Revelations and how it's not this whole "end of the world" thing that all the crazy right wings think it is. It was saying that Revelations was a story, it was saying the Anti-Christ was whoever was in power in an unjust, unChrist-like way. It was saying that it was a story that forever would be told and true, ever relevant until Heaven came to earth and God reigned over all. It was amazing. Including references to Star Trek and how John wrote revelations with the same idea as the creator of Star Trek, they weren't talking about things that could be bad such as how awful Rome was, or discrimination and race, they were talking about monsters and green and purple people from outerspace. They talked about how Dr. Seuss was discussing Hitler in much the same fashion with one of his books. They talked about Captain Barbosa from Pirates of the Carribean and him telling Ms. Swan that she'd better believe in ghost stories, because she was in one.
It was amazing. It was beautiful.
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